Conversations with my mother tend to be pretty funny. She has a hearty sense of humor and a feisty wit. She enjoys a good debate. It’s best to be well rested and hydrated before you engage her in verbal sparring. It’s also best if you don’t take yourself too seriously.
During one of our recent phone conversations, she told me I’m a good kid, which is nice to hear, particularly at my age. Plus, who doesn’t enjoy maternal praise? She then remarked how wonderfully all five of her children treat her and how lucky she is. I told her it’s because she has always been good to us and there when we need her. There was a pause. I figured she was absorbing the compliment. Then she resumed in a low tone, “I’m your mother…” followed by another brief pause. Naturally, I thought the next words were going to be “I love you.” Nope. Her full reply was, “I’m your mother. I had to. The courts would’ve come after me.” She’s a savage. I can’t think about it without laughing.
Should you ever have the pleasure of chatting with my matriarch, never assume you know where the conversation is heading. She’ll explain, with glee, what happens when one assumes.