Christmastime brings back a lot of happy childhood memories of celebrating with my family and friends. It also brings back memories of my religious education as a kid and the road to understanding what this season is all about. A standout memory comes from my first Holy Communion class, which was taught by my next-door neighbor, Mrs. Parker. Jesus’ path from the manger to the Cross is a lot to take in for second graders. They have a lot of questions and while asked sincerely, they’re often comical in their innocence. Mrs. Parker was kind, had the patience of a saint, and an excellent poker face. She was heaven-sent for the job at hand.
Say a little prayer and open door number 8.
December 8, 2024
I don’t remember everything about being prepared for the Sacrament of Holy Communion, but along the way we learned the order of Mass, the responses and prayers, and experienced our first visit to the confessional. The event I do remember clearly took place during the final rehearsal in the church a few days before the big event.
Nota bene: If I was telling you this story in person, right now is when I would start to laugh, and the remainder of the story would be told between giggles.
Mrs. Parker had us all lined up at the end of the main aisle by the vestibule in the church. We practiced walking toward the altar in an orderly, unrushed fashion, our little hands held before us in the manner of prayer. Before our last trip down the aisle, she explained that this time the priest would be waiting for us, and he would go through the motions of administering Holy Communion and we should respond accordingly. It was at this moment that one of the boys at the back of the line asked Mrs. Parker, in a voice that echoed in the rafters, “Will we get practice Jesus crackers when we get there?” Twenty-four small faces looked at her in earnest. It had been a long afternoon; we could use a snack.
I find it hilarious when I look back at it, but in all honesty, it was a valid question. A lot of info got thrown at us that year and, collectively, we did have the attention span of a gnat. It’s to Mrs. Parker’s credit that she didn’t laugh at his query, although I knew her very well and her slightly raised eyebrow was the tell that belied her mirth. I don’t remember her response because once I knew she thought it was amusing I realized two things. The first thing was that we were not going to get anything to eat from the priest. The second thing was that I was going think of communion wafers as Jesus crackers from that moment on. It was out of my hands.
I think Thalia has been looking over my shoulder for longer than I realize. I’ve always had a tendency to find humor at what most people would consider inappropriate moments. It has enabled me to enjoy the good times to their fullest and to survive the bad times with my sanity intact. To this day I think of that boy’s question every time the priest holds the communion wafer before the congregation and the bells ring for the transubstantiation. Jesus crackers have entered the building.
If you’re looking for me, I’m going straight to hell. My handbasket, party of one, has just arrived.
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